Have you gone to an event only to be disappointed? Perhaps a trip you planned wasn’t as exciting as you hoped, a holiday wasn’t as you dreamed, or a relationship didn’t go as well as you expected. Do you ever wonder if you accomplish this one thing, find that special relationship, or get the perfect job, everything will be all right? Many times, when we accomplish what we think will improve our world, reality does not meet our expectations.
High expectations are not wrong but managing them can lead to more happiness overall. Some people feel expectations should be low, so you are not disappointed or unhappy. Expectations give you your drive to explore, discover, and reach for the unknown. Expectations lead us to many accomplishments. We expect to overcome struggle and adversity. We expect to achieve more in life and create better ways to live.
The problem is the abyss between expectations and reality. There you can find disappointment, resentment and anger. Often, the emotions we have come from unrealistic expectations. Expectations are beliefs. Some of them are everyday occurrences we take for granted. We assume things daily. Examples would be our expectation for the car to run, the electricity to work, and the food we eat to be safe, just to name a few. Expectations can also be helpful to motivate you. If you eat less and exercise, you assume you will lose weight.
You can manage your expectations by looking at the potential outcome. Is your outlook focused on behaviors and actions? If you or others don’t perform as you anticipated do you examine why? Are you being unrealistic about your expectations? Sometimes we need to let others be responsible, as well as take responsibility for our own actions. It’s important to learn how to manage what we expect of others. We need to remember that everyone has a different perspective and their outlook could easily differ from yours. Communication will be the key to finding common ground.
Look where the expectation is coming from and if you agree it is realistic. If not, then perhaps you should reject the belief and give it up. Only you can give yourself permission to live your life as your own. Often, we allow others control by trying to live up to their expectations. We also try to control others with our beliefs. This is normal, and we must remember no one can do everything. We are all unique and must find our own personal journey.
“If you align expectations with reality, you will never be disappointed.” - Terrell Owens
Robin has spent a life time building relationships that has included working with a variety of personalities and business organizations. She is a published author and writes for a variety of blogs and publications. As a certified master coach and ACE personal trainer, Robin specializes in helping people who are on a journey for change. Her work includes helping women though life transitions for self-improvement and to create personal balance physically and mentally.
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