I have been in many situations working with all types of people over my lifetime. Men, women, young, old, different nationalities in a variety of work environments. And no matter what the circumstances, people are the same in many cases. They still have a need to rally together on mutual interest, and there are common personality types within each work environment.
Recently I have been in a situation to observe this in a very small setting where a group of people work in close quarters over many different overlapping times. I find it fascinating how information is passed from one to another in this chain of work shifts that continues around the clock. It is very easy for information to get misconstrued. But what I find happening more than the breakdown in communication going from one person to next is information irrelevant to the job itself and is just plain gossip or what I call stirring the pot. This is the information that can cause real damage within a work setting.
Getting involved in the gossip mill can bring unwanted attention from your employers as well as cause problems with your fellow co-workers. Many times the information discussed and passed along is incorrect or not complete. Often the information will be bias and intentionally hurtful and usually from a disgruntled employee. To paraphrase a quote from Robert Evans, “There are three sides to every story – yours, mine, and the truth.”
How do you handle people that appear to intentionally spread rumors or create toxic environments? First disengage in the conversation. Let them know you are not interested and change the subject. People that continually talk about others in a hurtful, embarrassing way, as well as try to make another look bad or wrong are looking for attention. By participating you are encouraging their behavior. Plus if you are just passively listening you are participating in the gossip. Most often you can nip the problem quickly by asking a few direct questions or suggesting they take it up with the department manager. Questions, such as, “Where did you hear that information and are you sure that is a fact?” will often stop the conversation. You can always say something positive in response which in turn will frequently spoil the impact of what was said. If you are exposed to gossip you can actively voice that you are uncomfortable talking about another person when they are not there to hear what is being said.
Remember you are responsible for what you provide to others in the form of your personal life. You may want to keep your private life private if you don’t want others to share it. If you are the target you can confront the source or go to your manager. As an owner or manager of a business it is best to have clear rules and expectations how employees should conduct themselves during business. The best way to handle this type of situation is to stay on a professional level and not on the defense or attack. Remember you are addressing the issue not the source.
“Watch out for the joy-stealers: gossip, criticism, complaining, faultfinding, and a negative, judgmental attitude.” Joyce Meyer
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