Doing Things Differently



Many of us grew up in a world of doing as you have been told.  I can still hear my mother telling me - “Because I said so!” when I questioned her direction.  We are taught to do things that are considered part of the norm.  Well the norm has changed a lot since I was a child as it has for most of us.   Now as an adult we begin to question what the right direction is but often fall into the trap of the “norm”.  It may be driven by what is expected of us from family, friends and co-workers.  It may also be from the pressure we have from our social environment.   No matter what the cause we need to question why we do the things we do if we expect to have certain results.

I believe many of us want something different in our life but just can’t seem to find the right direction.  What is stopping us?  For some of us it’s fear.  We are afraid of failing and the embarrassment of others knowing that we failed.  Or it could be we are waiting on approval.  We need others to buy into our passion or dreams in order to start our journey.   

If you are on the path to make some changes in your life then I would tell you to begin with your own beliefs about your impending journey.  Do you believe this is the right direction for you to go?  Your beliefs and priorities are great motivators for moving into a new direction.  But these beliefs and priorities must outweigh the fear you have and it must not be dependent on the approval of others.  You will not make necessary change or do things differently until the need is greater than the consequences. 

Begin by embracing the fact that it is not a perfect world.  You will have mistakes, issues and probably some failure.  That is fine.  Plan for what you can up front and look to the future with an open mind. Know that the only way to learn and move forward is by taking steps that sometimes will be missteps.  

Here is an example.  Many years ago I was a heavy smoker.  It was a terribly habit that started when I was very young.  Over the years the habit had become expensive and was making me sick.  Even so I did not want to quit.  I was hooked and afraid of the pain I’d feel from the cravings if I stopped.  Then one day I went on a trip to a completely different environment.  I was around people that did not smoke or want to be around it.  The effort to figure out how and when I could smoke a cigarette was stressful to say the least.  I begin to realize how smoking was leading me on a road to an unhealthy and poor existence.  The experience opened a new world for me and I started on a fresh journey. 
This catalyst began a change that lead from one good experience to another.  It was not easy to quit.   I had to break habits that had been a part of my life for many years.  But the overall fact is that I wanted to quit.  I wanted to feel better.  The pain of smoking was greater than not smoking.  Quitting became a priority and I found ways to do things differently based on need and what I wanted going forward in my life.

Don’t lose sight of what you want to do differently in your life.  It really comes down to what you believe, want and need.  Focus on what you want in the future and not what you are leaving in the past.  Trust yourself to set your path to do things a little different.

“Things do not change; we change,” Henry David Thoreau

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