Want To Be Happier? Break The Habit Of Being a Complainer!

We live in a world that looks for the negative. If you think about it, you will find this is true. From the moment we wake up to the end of the day we are bombarded with negative messages. Before we even know of it, something sucks us into the vortex of negativity.

Once in this negative world it’s easy to become a chronic complainer. I am sure you can think of a few people you avoid because they suck all the energy from those around them. Nothing seems to be good enough or right in their view. But before you point out all the people you believe to be these energy vampires, look at yourself and see if you are among them and on that harmful path.

Observe what your attitude is and if you complain often. Do you have certain adverse or grumpy patterns? Here are some topics many people fall into the complaint habit:

  • Weather
  • Traffic
  • Inconveniences
  • Career
  • People
  • Politics
  • Fatigue  

Research has shown the more you complain the more likely you are to complain. Your brain becomes wired for negativity. Once you are in the deep habit of grumbling about most things in life, it will take a toll in your relationships, well-being and productivity.

Complaining not only effects your energy but others. Think about the negative people you have been around. Don’t you feel worse after being around them? Science has shown that this negative atmosphere causes the release of a stress hormone that makes you feel worse than previously being exposed to the negativity or complainer.

Complainers also affect productivity. Like a disease their attitudes infiltrate the workplace and spread the overall negative atmosphere. According to Psychology Today, science has shown the elevated stress levels resulting from negativity are a potential for mental illness and decreased resilience.

“Pointless complaining causes stress and has the potential to weaken your immune system.” – Steve Parton, The Science of Happiness.

Once you recognize you are in this spiral pattern, you can work on turning your thoughts to a more positive outlook. Begin by checking your thoughts before you speak. Are undesirable feelings turning though your mind? Even if you are not speaking them aloud, the results are the same. At the same time think about what you are feeling when your mind turns to complaining. Are you feeling powerless, angry, out of control?

Next try to change your language. Move your thoughts and language to positive statements. It will be unnatural at first but over time you will build a habit. Practice with a statement such as it’s a beautiful day or I feel good. Look for solutions rather than fault by finding a positive in every situation. Break the habit of going to the people you vent to as they are rewarding you for your behavior. Look for people that have positive attitudes. They will lift you up rather than turning your thoughts to the worst-case scenario.

Work on being less judgement. Should of, would of, and could of are phrases that’s better left out of your vocabulary. This includes judging yourself. Sometimes you need to roll with the punches and let go of the control.

As you build a distance from the complaining habit, you will move towards more confidence. You will feel more self-assured, find more happiness, create better relationships and have greater productivity. 

“The only thing complaining does is convince other people that you are not in control.”– Unknown 

Robin Anne Griffiths has spent a lifetime working with a variety of personalities and business organizations across the United States and internationally which has included leadership positions with several companies in the field of newspapers, magazines and broadcasting. Robin is a published author with two books. She also writes for a variety of blogs and publications. Robin is a certified master development coach, personal trainer and behavior change specialist. She also is a movement instructor for senior populations and specializes in helping people on a journey for change. She works with groups and individuals on life transitions to create personal balance - physically and mentally. www.robinannegriffiths.com